Demon Cake and New Breakfast Fave...

yesterday i completely forgot to post a photo of my weight loss chart that lives in my tracker book, so i decided to post it a day late - so, there we go - its going down, which is the main thing. :)

i also thought id take the opportunity to post about last nights indulgences, i may have had some vino,and a boost, and some cheese and crackers, and a chinese ready meal and nibbles...and a sausage roll (i was out of the house most of the day getting my eyes tested and waiting for my glasses) so yes, i probably went a lil bit overboard - not least when i was in tesco, and my ultimate vice started calling me from across the store, 'meeelllllllllllll'...'meeeellllll, please mel, i thought you loved us' and so on and so forth, so yes i purchased something very naughty, 12 of them, but they are to be shared throughout the family - so its not all bad,lol.

krispy kreme doughnuts. i swear to god, if they ever introduced something to the english market from america which was bound to affect the waist lines of the public it was clearly these lil develish angels. So, i probably indulged far too much on these. i had 3. whooopsie. but at least i stopped myself at 3. this morning i got online and have since googled krispy kreme and have found a website which means i can point these lil tasty treats and still satisfy my homer simpson-esq cravings :)

:)

unfortunately, the doughnuts arent the only naughty things we currently have in the house, when mum and i were in tesco yesterday she picked up a cake for after sunday lunch today, i didnt pay much attention to what she was looking at or buying, but woa my lord - when i got home i was in shock, this is the cake she chose;

and this lil baby, this not exactly overly large cake is extremely scrummy  looking but its also coming in at 51.6 points!! how shocking is that? its 4.5 points per 12th of a cake. eeeep, what the hell does it have in it? a full family bar size of galaxy chocolate??? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppp. i think ill pass, and possibly have one of my pointed doughnuts.

ive also made an attempt to, as im off, have a slightly different breakfast, seeing as i had the time to prepare something, so i had this;

eggs benidict, it was 9.5, but it was more of a brunch than a breakfast and was so yummy :) good times.

                                                                    peace out x

Week 2 Weigh In

So, its saturday, which means in time to jump on my scales and weigh myself once again, and im still at the point where i quite look forward to weigh in, i work hard all week and i look forward to see my results, there will be weeks, especially as time moves on, that i will be no longer anticipating weigh in with a feeling of optimism and enthusiasm but with one of desperation,dread,fear and loathing, but as i say - at the moment, im still very much positive.

So this morning i wake up, stumble down the stairs, switch the kettle on and grab the scales - i weigh myself in the dining room/junk room as its the only completely flat flooring in our house - go figure, and ive lost 4.75lbs this week. thrilled?? you bet ya! that takes it to 10lb in 2 weeks, and im well ahead on my 30lb in 10 week challenge, times my friends, are very good indeed. That being said, i was a saint all week - i allow myself saturdays off plan and have something ive been craving all week and some chocolate and vino, hey, im only human - and i know from past experiences that i dont do this i reach around wednesday and have a scary binge - but other than that last week i was extremely good all week, and i plan to be the same this week - chinese food tonight, can i get a woop woop?! ;)

In other news this week, today i went to get my eyes tested, and have gone from needing normal bog standard reading glasses to needing to wear general distance glasses all the time :o\ not exactly impressed but i got some pretty damn funky glasses (red or dead and fcuk, oh yeah, you knows im happening chick ;) ) so im wearing them now and need to get used to them, ive been told they may give me head aches for a few days while i adjust. 'parently one of my eyes is weaker than the other (which i knew, my left eye sucks) so my right eyes been compensating :( sigh,

red or dead, snake print, woop woop!

fcuk! :)  (aka, the prof glasses ;) )

I was also superbly good, i saw the most SEXY red trilby hat ever today, ever ever ever ever - i wanted it, i had it, it was in my hands and i put it back! hows that for self control, ok - so i spent £20 in the same shop on earrings, got the most stunning pair of guitar earrings  :) awweeesoommmeee :) :)

Oh and look at me, rock and roll goddess, general awesome person - culinary master? yep, your right - im actually an awesome cook, but im much better at baking - my chocolate chip cookies are to die for (crunchy on the outside, chewy in the middle) to the extent that in the past ive been paid to bake them. well this year im gonna try my hand at making an honest to god christmas cake. from scratch. impressed? you knows it? im buying the bits each week then getting started at end of sept, today i got all the fruit and the measuring cups and candied peels. now all i need is a tin, brandy, treacle, sugar and eggs. Im using my mums old cake recipe, hence the measuring cups, apparently she didnt think specific weights were neccessary. lol. wish me luck?

                                                               peace x

A real quickie...

so, what with the excitement of weigh in and the back combed hair and what not, i totally forgot to mention something that im pretty darn proud of,as of saturday i have now been smoke free for 6 months!!! and i feel so much better for it, i still miss having something to do with my hands (that err...isnt a double entendre) but the smell doesnt smell good to me anymore, like it used to, and i had a drag of one the other week and it actually knocked me sick, impressed? you knows it. the money ive saved not buying ciggies has paid for;

1. my flesh tunnels, and the stretched it took me to get to this point (8mm) - probably £15 all in for each size up, and i stretched 3 times, for the record - i wouldnt suggest going up as quickly as i did (if your thinking of getting them), i went up from standard to 3mm, then to 5mm and im now at 8mm. I left 2 weeks between each stretch, your meant to go up 1-2mm a time every 2 month or so. So yeah, i rushed through it.

2. my lip piercing, which i adore, and my lip rings ive ordered which im waiting to arrive, sigh, come on royal mail!! :)

so yeah, check me out - im a smoke free good girl now;

(shockingly, and i know your not gonna believe this - i added the halo and wings on AFTER i took the photo, using paint - i know, shocking right?)

ok... so im not a good girl, but im better :) and like i always say, when im good im very very good, but when im bad... im better ;)

                                                                      peace out x

Week 1 Weigh In...

So firstly, apologies for not posting this sooner but i had to work yesterday so really didnt have time to post it after weigh in, and then when i got home from a manic day of work, well, quite frankly i couldnt be bothered. Hey, at least im honest.

So lets get this over with shall we, i lost 5.25lbs. Im happy with that :) its 5.25lbs less than i was last week, and it also means im ahead in my challenge to lose 30lbs in 10 week, good times. Last night i ended up going to a friends house and had too much vino and munchies,but im straight back to it today so thats all that matters in my eyes. :) ive also got a personal funky monkey challenge going on where i have a picture of a monkey on my fridge separated into squares and i colour it in each week, its got 9 squares - so after 9 weeks im hoping to have a fatty funky monkey ;)

Ive also got a very important section of my diet/weight/points tracker note book thing which is a weight loss chart :)

what can i say? i like to be able to see my weight loss at a glance? i dunno, it makes me feel good filling it in anyway,lol. proof of my loss maybe? lol, as a rule i find my weight tracker quite a therapeutic thing anyway, when im in the zone it becomes an invaluable tool for keeping me on track, im very much the school of mark it down before you eat it, no excuses then is there? she says - knowing full well she didnt do this at all last night, and drank wine and had a bacon sarnie and some a boost chocolate bar all of which i didnt point but thoroughly enjoyed, and should be working off on just dance for my wii today but am really struggling to feel at all motivated to do that, so instead im watching the Xtra factor that i recorded last night, hmmm.... still, as the postcard stuck to my fridge tells me;

and i have to say, at the time the chocolate did make me happy, i love love love boosts, i dont however love that they are 7.5 points, nor am i happy that i used to think nothing of having one of these along with a pastie/pie and an energy drink during my lunch at work, eeeep. si really, my goal now is to not regret what i ate and drank last night and to just back on it today and cut back a few points each day, no problemo mon ami :)

I'd also like to take this opportunity to point something out, on this blog it would be easy to look at all the pictures i put on of me and think i love myself and i have a massive ego, strangely, im completely the opposite - i just want to make this blog more personal and the only way i know of doing this is to use photos of myself, also, by putting on photos of me you may realise more of who i am, which to be fair - could be argued a bit of a loser judging by my hair in this blog - but would you believe that this took a fair bit of styling to do? no really, i woke up this morning and this was how i wanted my hair.this is what my family call the 'walk 6 steps behind me and pretend were not together look' ;) (long live the back combing) i also dont do it to shock, i just do it because it feels right, and i quite like being different and not the same sheep as everyone else, except i know its not different - its a copy of someone else who does it, and maybe someone will copy me and so on - but its still very much true to myself :) i think i just wanted to clear that up, i actually have pretty severe confidence issues and by posting these pictures it seems to help. normality, not exactly my strong point ;)

so yeah, i think that pretty much sums up this blog post. and as always.

                                                      peace x

Breakfast Blues

I HATE having breakfast, and i do mean hate it with a passion - however, i do force myself to eat it as i know its good for you and extremely bad to skip it, but theres many reasons why i hate it, the 2 most prominent ones;

1. no breakfast + early mornings = more time in bed.

im not the best sleeper out there, once im asleep im fine, but getting to sleep is a real nightmare at times. so if i dont eat breakfast, i dont need to get up as early so i get to sleep longer, also, i just dont like eating in a morning.

2. breakfast makes me starving!!!

and i do mean starving, im pretty much working ther 10-5 shift in work right now, so i eat breakfast at 8:30am and my 11am my tummy sounds like a rock rolling down a hill im that hungry, on monday i worked 11-6 so had breakfast at 9:30 and only got my break in work at 3pm!! im relatively sure i took a few bites out of my fingers when i was eating my lunch (when i finally got it).

and for those out there thinking im eating the wrong things for breakfast, im not - it doesnt matter what ive eaten for breakfast im still starving hungry within around 3 hours, which sucks majorly when im at work. ive tried to have bacon butties for breakfast (pointed, not advisable i was hungry almost instantly), porridge, cereal, toast, fruit, yoghurts - it truly doesnt matter - luckily the hunger pangs get less noticeable the longer im eating healthily so im just sticking with it and im sure i'll be ok in the next few weeks, but am i the only one who is like this? who, by eating breakfast, sentences herself to a morning of being ravenous? today im off work, so i can afford to be hungry as i can snack, or have my lunch when ever i want. good times. breakfast this morning, Orange juice, a pear, a nectarine (check out that for making sure i get my 5 a day ;) ) and a crumpet....

dont ask, i wouldnt :)

despite going back to work this week after a week off, and it killing me - im so exhausted and im aching - going from being off to standing for 7 hours a day is not to be sniffed at, put it that way,  i have been quite honestly, i fricking saint. ive tracked like a good 'un, and ive even made sure ive been hitting my 5 a day, mainly by eating fruit, but ive been having chock loads of good old veggies too - i had stir fry last night, and tonight im having sweet and sour chicken - and its pointed too :) what more could a girl ask for :) - apart from a point free chocolate bar/cake, and adam lambert/tim minchin/billy joel armstrong/jared leto to feed it to me (can you tell i like eye liner on  my men? im such an eye liner 'ho - even on me - i just loves my eye liner,lol), i havent let a morsel pass my lips without marking it down and making sure ive got the points, and on sunday i even managed to have enough points for my sticky toffee pudding, come on - thats commitment right? i really am feeling very motivated round about now :) i havent err, done any exercise yet, but im aching enough as it without adding more aches and pains. bad times. so i have my point tracking book, and its fastly becoming my bible.

i loves my bible, lol.

my mums meant to be pointing too, but whilst she wont admit it - shes playing at pointing really so im sure im a bit of a diet bore at home, luckily i dont talk about my diet with friends and or work colleagues as im conscience of becoming the diet bore, so i just dont talk about it, speaking of work - some guy asked for my number in work the other day - cool huh? WRONG. dont get me wrong, im not a snob, or a cow, i am infact one of the most approachable people there is - and i know i dont look it with the dyed black hair, piercings and tattoos and a scary amount of eye liner, but im a real sweet heart. I admit, it took me a long time to accept my personality but i adore myself, apart from the paranoia but i do have a pretty wicked sense of humour (and yes by wicked, i mean good and dark). So in work, im lovely to everyone - every customer that comes through my till i will smile and chat and laugh at their jokes (or fake laugh, which is more often than not neccessary). But this one guy seemed to think i was giving him special treatment, and said 'if i gave you my number would you call me?' wow - what do you say to that, especially when your 23 and a bit of a rocker, and this guy is 40+ and is so straight laced im not sure he knows who Greenday are? I just said, err, 'honestly, probably not' then felt guilty, so pointed at one of the 2 blokes i work with (who luckily are good mates of mine - ive always got on well with dudes) and said 'my fella wouldnt like it!' this could have gone so horribly wrong, except the dude i pointed at wasnt the dumb one, and he heard so he looked up and winked at me like he was my boyfriend. This didnt put the bloke off and he said 'ah ok, think on it though yeh? we'd have fun.' man, why do the cute rockers i serve never offer me their number? or the guy from the tattoo shop/piercing place ive been lusting over for a fair while now? lol.

im gonna close this blog up now, its a long post - but im trying to at least a blog when im on my days off, but before i forget, yes im 23 - but if you liked harry potter,percy jackson and/or twilight, buy this book, buy it, read it, love it - then buy the next 6. House of Night, Marked, by Pc and Kristin Cast. i've almost finished it and ive just ordered the next 2 :)

peace out x

Downfalls.

So when were dieting, lets face it - each and every one of us has downfalls, many of us more than one - me? i think i have about 400. lol. So getting back on the dieting regime always makes me confront these downfalls face on, so this time i thought id share it in a blog, and hopefully someone else out there will read it and realise they are not alone.

Downfalls come in so many different shapes and forms its almost cruel. But i can only talk about the downfalls that plague me, so here goes;

I am the ultimate comfort eater, and when i say comfort eater, what i really should say is comfort binger, im under no illusions that my halo doesnt slip, it falls off and rolls write under the fridge. I eat when im happy, bored, sad, angry - if im bored i find the whole not snacking thing virtually impossible, so i try to have good snacks in, things like gherkins and cherry tomatoes, but when im sad i'll treat myself to chocolate and hope it cheers me up, and when im happy i'll kid myself that i deserve a take away, similarly to sad, when im angry and i eat - and when im tired i get lazy and eat what evers closest, i try not to bang in about it - but being bipolar and an emotional eater is quite possibly the worst mix ever.

Then of course there's the downfall of certain trigger foods that can bring on a binge (in me anyway) before you know it - the picture above shows the food we currently have in the house that are likely to set me off - i thought putting them on the scales were quite fitting. :) now, if it were up to me, i'd get a big old rubbish bag and fling the white bread, chocolate and cheese - and id gently place the vino in a bag with a tear in my eye - but as is always the case, i dont live alone - and have to understand that other people can control the desire to just cut a piece of cheese off the block and and ram it down their snarf hole when no ones looking (incidentally, we also have some red hot spicy gouder cheese in the fridge that ive hidden at the back,lol)  Out of sight, out of mind - at least thats how im finding it at the moment. Similarly, Coke is a massive downfall of mine, i love the stuff - ice old coke is the best ever - but i have to limit my intake of that as well.

Another downfall of mine is other people. like in work, being harassed to go for a drink after work - which always leads to more than one and usually a sharer plate of chips and cheesy garlic bread, or like today - my dear sweet mummy. Let me explain, this week ive been off work as hol, but typically my sinuses decided to play up - so i was really rather ill at the beginning of the week, i also had a touch of tonsillitis so i wasnt really eating much, and all i wanted to eat was sticky toffee pudding and cream, or ice cream - yeah, when im ill i revert to being 5 - good to know eh? - but we didnt have any, so mum went shopping yesterday and came home with... ha ha ha, you guessed it ;)

(just as a side not, my hairs wet not greasy,lol)

sticky toffee pudding and clotted cream for after todays tea, and my god she looked so proud and chuffed with herself because she'd found me some - and she didnt know i was getting back on track with my dieting thing, so - im gonna eat the sticky toffee pudding and cream tonight, luckily they are individual puddings so ive pointed them up (8.5) and i'll add my own cream so i wont go over board and i reckon i can just about squeeze them into my points, especially as im gonna bank a few points in the week.

know what, sometimes, just sometimes i think id quite like to lock myself in a room until ive lost my weight, and then come out - rather like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis - would certainly make my life easier anyway - still, im pretty damn sure im gonna enjoy my sticky toffee pudding ;)

and i know that the pudding will be my only slice of naughtiness for the forsee-able future as ive been challenged by a new diet buddy of mine to lose 30lbs in 10 weeks - oh heck - eep!

                                                      peace x

hello motivation. hello new found cupboard contents love.

ive discovered the most wondrous, beautiful amazing creation ever known to man and woman kind, im in love - utterly in love - with something thats fast becoming a cupboard essential in this household, whats better? my mums also totally hooked, so what is it?

garlic salt! yes you heard me, garlic salt!!! now whilst i dont usually kiss my cupboard contents, and i especially dont usually kiss them and take my photo, i thought id make an exception to express my love for this humble little jar on this here bloggage. and yes i know salt isnt good, i know this - but i dont care. its my little guilty pleasure. I adore garlic (maybe one of the reasons why im still a lone bird eh?) but im also exceptionally lazy, and if i can find something to make life easier than, hell, i take it! I especially hate peeling and prepping veggies, and that includes the laborious (yes, it is laborious in my head) of peeling and chopping or squishing garlic - but this stuffs even better than that, why? because this doesnt even need to be cooked! My dear mother and i love it on salads, and even on salad butties :) nom nom - i had a ham salad buttie for lunch today with a light spreading of extra light mayo and a sprinkling of the wonderful garlic salt. and it was good. so so good :) nom. dude/dudette who created this divine substance, i salute you!

day 1 is going immense, despite a groggy head from far too much vino last night, but despite that im motivated. yes i did the obligatory morning after the night before bacon sarnie, but it was grilled and pointed, and then i had some oj :) for lunch i had the heavenly sarnie, some walkers baked crisps and some soup, oh and a nectarine - and man that nectarine was so good! Im so back on the wagon its scary, that nectarine - cant even tell you how good it was - but the funny thing is, that was nicer than any chocolate bar or choccy biccie ive ever shoved down my snarf hole. viva la nectarine! it was so good, im very tempted to go and have another - but im gonna be good (not sure mum will appreciate me eating all the fruit while she was at work,lol) but maybe, just maybe ill have one after my tea (of paella - oh yeah, check me out ;) ) with a yoghurt :) good times.

So, a further insight into my nerdiness is due i do believe. I give you me own biggest loser stage. Yes it cluttered, and it doesnt look quite as glamorous as the one you see on tv. But this is my weigh station, with my new awesome scales - and sometimes, just sometimes, i like to weigh myself twice (you get the same reading on these, its fricking awesome), once in st and lbs, and once in lbs only - and when i do the lbs only thing - i like to pretend im on the biggest loser. small things eh? ;)

                                                                         peace x

As predicted...

well, as predicted i suppose i better get this over and done with and post my woe is me post.

sigh, and it truly truly is woe is me...so, i got the scales (which btw are fricking awesome, they are scary accurate and you an get on and off them and still get the same reading, goodies) and i weight a disgusting, utterly despicable;

yes, you heard me rightly - 25 st 13 - thats fricking disgusting, truly awful. truth is, i was fully expecting my weight to be in the 25 bracket, just not quite so high in that bracket, on a positive side, i know these scales are accurate, i also know that my old ones weighed a good 10lb less than these ones so despite the scary high number, im feeling well... surprisingly optimistic;

shockingly, that is meant to be my optimistic face - lol. Some people out there may be wondering why im so optimistic, especially considering the disgusting amount of weight ive put on lately - but heres the thing, ive accepted it, and ive moved on - and im so ready to get back on this dieting malarkey its scary. today i went to asda and bought lots of lovely fruities and veggies and ww friendly snack-ables. good times. and tomorrow ill be a pointing machine. pinky swear readers. pinky swear.

ive also got a brand new tracking note book, a brand new pack of fruit scented ball point pens to wright in my book (dont ask,lol), some coloured pencils and some glitter gel pens (again, probably best not to ask). Onwards and downwards my dear readers, onwards and downwards.

oh, and before i forget - following the new blog, new start point of view ive opted to do this blog differently from my last, hence the photies of me, rather than generic photo's found from google, there will still be a few of those in my blog, but i like the idea of making this here bloggage more personal, any feed back would be luvverly? :) plus, my woe is me pose is utterly amazing ;)

                                                      peace out x

Remember how I said?

Remember how i said that for the first few weeks of being on track i wasnt going to weigh myself?

Well today i changed my mind, see one of the major reasons why i didnt want to weigh myself for the first few weeks is that my trust for my current scales is severely lacking, its not that i dont want to know what i weigh, its that my scales can differ by about 5lbs each time you step on them, now lets be honest - thats hardly ideal. It's also not fair when youve been super good all week and when you do weigh yourself you struggle to trust your scales. So this morning, ive used the power of the internet and reserved these; http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/8324647/Trail/searchtext%3EWEIGHTWATCHERS+SCALES.htm#tabrev at argos. They look pretty darn good to me, and the reviews filled me with confidence. Good times, i'll be picking them up tomorrow so i'll let you know how i get on with these over the coming weekend. Prepare yourselves for a 'woe is me' post when i realise how much my weeks and months of depression chocolate stuffing activities have caused me to gain. You have been warned.

                                                Peace x

Welcome new and old to the wonderful world of my brain

Well hello there, some of you may have shifted across from my old blog (incredible shrinking me) which ive decided to shut down in order to open this one, i made this decision for a number of reasons, but mainly because of the following 2.

1. random people posting random comments on my blogs that weren't exactly 'right' if you ask me ;) and i just couldnt keep on top of deleting them.

2. i havent exactly been on track lately, well - at all. and when i say lately, i mean for a good few months, so my thinking was new blog, new look, new start. :)

Im going to provided a little bit of background to me at this point, so old readers can feel free to skip :)

My name is Mel and im 23 :) and i've been overweight for pretty much as long as i can remember, not technically true, i was severely underweight until i hit four and a half and i guess im still trying to make up for those years of malnourishment ;) It's taken me a long time to accept my personality as who i am, and not be defined by my weight but im doing that now and loving every second. I guess it would be fair to say i lead somewhat of an alternative life style, which means i adore my tattoo's, piercings and rock music in general. Im also a big nerd, and read a lot - No# 1 book worm - thats me :) i will read anything, from horror to sci-fi to historical, and i pretty much always have a book on the go :) so i guess that explains the title of my blog. im a rock and roll nerd; its also based on a song by the ultimate comedy rock god; Mr Tim Minchin - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2De680f8r-c - im a big Minchin nerd too, as well as a comedy nerd and a film nerd. Im going to see John Bishop live in November and then Russel Howard live in feb next year. I saw Mr Minchin last year, as well as Ed Byrne :)
Im not at all religious, i describe myself as agnostic with severe atheistic tendencies ;) i do however try to keep this out of my blog, not so much on facebook so if you add me on there you have been warned. ;) i love music yet i have no talent, i used to play the drums but broke my wrist and never got back into it, im desperate to learn to play piano but no one will teach me as i they all know how limited my talent is and how frustrated i get, and im poor and i cant pay. lol. I like a lot of different types of music, from greenday and acdc to eminem and plan b :) not to mentioned robbie williams ;) I also dabble in writing, short stories and poems mainly.
I work for the ultimate budget retailer, Poundland, as a till monkey :) - and have done since september - i pretty much love everyone i work with, and have a great giggle - good times :)
This past few years has been rather turbulent for me, i did get down to a low of 20 st 1 but ive gained most of that back and im hitting 24 st again now, not good but im getting back on it so all will be good. So heres my background in as short and concise way as possible;

when i was 18 (after college, history,english language and classical civilisations - such a nerd) i left my northern hometown of sunny st.helens and moved to wonderful woking to be with my partner, i lived there for 2 years and worked for woolworths (rip) then my dad had a grand mal seizure and i decided to move back home as even though he was ok, it really shook me up, me and my partner lived down here until the halloween before my 21st birthday, he worked away in wonderful woking and he travelled down solely to finish with me in the space of 15 mins after he picked me up from work, soo i moved back in with my mum and dad that night and i havent left since, and i really haven't heard from the twunt since, sigh. In the december of the same year my Grandaddy, who was in a caring home as he had severe hallucogenic dementia, had a massive heart attack suddenly on a saturday morning and that was the end of him. This shook me up pretty badly, and it took me a lil while to get back on track with my mentality and the dieting process. At the times i worked for adams childrenswear (do you see where this is going?). Last year i had a week off as booked holidays, on the monday morning i got a phone call saying i had to go go in work as the shop has shut down and we need to empty it out. we found out the shop was closed 10 minutes before trade was due to start. nice. hello redundancy, hello dole line. that was in the january, i was unemployed until the july when i finally got a job. i was bullied severely and i lost myself, luckily i got this job in poundland after 2.5 months of hell and all is good.

i also suffer from medically treated (at the moment, i have spells of being off them) bipolar, which is basically hell on earth for keeping a grip on your emotions. it however does not have to send you off on drug taking tangents like kerry katona would have you believe ;)

I have a total of 4 tattoos (rose on my chest, bee on my shoulder, big celtic star thing on my back and my self designed shooting star on my left hand), i have my ears and navel pierced, i have an 8mm flesh tunnel in each ear (second piercing up) and my lip pierced, and the collection is ever growing :)

so, my play for the next few weeks is simple, oh yes readers from the past - im going in this with a plan this time. i was meant to start pointing this week, however - mother nature decided otherwise and i ended up with tonsillitis, sinusitis and an upper respiratory track infection - on my week off as well, wheres the justification (i was ill when i was younger with some shingles like illness that reduced my immune system right down, i never only get one thing,lol) so - the plan;

1. this week im cutting down on rubbish and portion sizes in general, without worrying too much about eating the right things.

2. starting monday i'll be pointing on paper and generally getting back into the swing of things, i wont be weighing myself as i dont want the added pressure.

3. after a few weeks of that, i'll be going full throttle into scary-mel-diet mode. i've bought a new note book to track in and all will be well, i also have a picture of a colour in monkey on the fridge, once im feeling comfortable in this im going to colour in a square of it each week (ive separated it into 9 squares) and after 9 weeks im gonna see how fat my monkey is :)

i appreciate this has been a very long post, thank you for enduring, and choosing to follow (if you do)

                                                       peace out x