The Wonderer Returns....

OK ok ok - so yes, its been almost a year since i last posted a blog on here, but truth is so much happened in that one year that i dont know where to start, its certainly been one helluva roller coaster. But im gonna start blogging again, at least once a week. Im fully aware ive probably lost the vast majority (if not all) of my original 'followers', and for that im truly sorry. But, in this blog post im gonna attempt to bring you all up to speed on whats what, if not maybe grasp the interest of some new followers :) This is gonna be full of ups and down though, i warn y'all.

So lets see, i think the best bet is to get the negatives over and done with. I genuinly cant remember if i posted on here about how poorly my mum was just before i started blogging, she was very very ill. Well things started to get worse (i'll add now, im not one for building for tension on this topic - shes NOT dead, i repeat - still alive and kicking :op) she started to lose weight faster and faster, and could hardly walk she was so weak. She kept going back to the GP and kept being diagnosed with various things, from swine flu, to an infection, to MRSA. Eventually she got told to pack in her job so she did, but things didnt improve. Soooo we called the dr out for a home visit in June, and she took bloods and went on her away ( which, may i add, she shouldnt have done - mum needed a hospital - stat - both dad and i could see it so why couldnt the dr???) That night she got admitted into hospital with severe aneamia and kidney failure, and was put straight into Intensive Care, she had 6 blood transfusions that evening, and was a mass of wires and tubes, she seemed to perk up a lil but we still didnt know what was wrong. After a month she was moved on to the gastro ward, she lasted a day before being rushed back up to icu with a suspected stroke - for a week or two, couldnt speak, looked straight through us - it was fucking (apologies for language) awful. During this time the searches for what was wrong with my mum went upwards, not only Whiston Hospital, but Manchester and Liverpool were all looking for answers too. They were looking for tropical diseases and all sorts, it was so scary. Then one day she started to perk up, she was looking at us and talking. And things were better. So back down she went to the Gastro ward. Its now August, 4 days after being on that ward things went so so bad again. We all got called out of work, mum needed Chemo. We all rushed up to the hospital to find mum sitting in a room in tears and shaking, and she was so confused. She had something called Non-Hodgkins T Cell Lymphoma. A very rare,scary form of cancer. Chemo to start as soon as she was deemed strong enough. This was on the Thursday. On the saturday she came down with Pneumonia, on the Sunday we were all rushed to the hospital again, every hour was considered a bonus, she wasnt going to make it. She was unconscious, and was placed on pathway, taken off all food and drinks, and any medications that werent pain meds. That night, my dad went home to change clothes and my brother and i stayed and watched over her, she woke up at one point - looked straight at me and my brother and begged for death. That i will never forget, nor will i forget staying off work for a month as i spent every day sitting in a cold hospital room waiting for my mum to die. I cant explain how hard that was, then bingo bango - after 2 weeks, she woke up - asked for a drink, drank and ate! Even the drs were lost for words. Eventually she was moved to the cancer ward and chemo started, a while after that she was moved into respite, and she came home in mid october. Shes now eating, drinking, pottering around the house with the aid of a zimmer, and she got the ALL CLEAR on the 23rd December. No words can express how proud of my mums fighting spirit i am. x x x x x x x

So naturally throughout all this my eating went to pot, and i started smoking again - and still i am to be perfectly honest, and needed someone to lean on, and heres the nice part :) :)

In January last year we got people working in my store who were on a government placement, i took a shine to one of them straight away, just as friends to begin with - he has the same sarcasm and sense of humour as me, and we just really got on. After a few weeks i realised i liked him more than i initially thought, but i didnt let him know, just people around me who im sure are bored to death of hearing about him now, butttt this was a new form of like for me - i never thought i could feel the way i do, sorry very smooshy, long story short ive been with him now for 5.5 months, and were very much in love :)  and he was deffo, and still is my rock :)

Btw, we're out for halloween in the first 2 pics, coz were awesome, Jekyll and Hyde ;)

So here i am, Kcal counting again - i weighed myself earlier, not nearly as bad as i thought - id actually added a stone to my weight, im now 353lbs (25 st 3), but i wont be for long. So, i hope you understand my dissapearance, but ive explained myself now :)

peace out all. :) peace out :)

P,s:- im deiting using My Fitness Pal - if you'd like to add me please do, my names caliente115 on it :) cheers :) x x x oooohhhhh and look at my new hair :oP