Wednesday, 1 September 2010

The Binge Switch

So, both me and my diet buddy are having a tough time of things this week, so i figured id post a blog about something i seem to struggle with, my somewhat infamous binge switch.

Of course i can only talk for myself here, but sometimes i feel like i have a switch in my brain, and when it gets flicked on i just eat everything in sight, this week im struggling - im feeling very down in the dumps and am seriously struggling not to binge on a daily basis, im due on (too much info, sorry) so have some pretty serious cravings for sweets and carbs which are, quite frankly, a bitch to control. im also feeling really rather teary due to the tmi reason mentioned above (i know, me teary? hard to comprehend it isnt it) and im also exhausted, i worked on bank holiday monday and as i wasnt needed on the till i worked as shop floor crew for the day and it absolutely killed me - far too much lifting and carrying, my poor shoulders and arms still feel like ive been through a pretty damn hardcore gym workout, working as till staff my legs are sore by the end of the day, but jeeezeee - come back leg pain all forgiven. :(

anyway i digress, ive been wondering lately why i (and surely i CANT be the only out there?) who has this strange switch on moment, which means i'll stop being in the struggling zone and head straight over to the all out binge zone. as a rule, my train of thought will go;

'man, im hungry - but i shouldnt eat that'
'but then, will one lil thing like that hurt in the grand scheme of things?'

** chomp chomp chomp chew chew **

'well, now ive done that i may as well have more'
'.....and more'
'..........and much much more'
'know what, ive ruined it for today - ill have today off and get back on it tomorrow'

this is not healthy, not healthy at all. Im also an emotional eater, so if im feeling low the switch is usually switched on when i think 'arrr fuck it', like on sunday evening, when i was more skint than an extremely broke person after spending his last penny on the most poorest day of their life and this ending up epicly poor, and also due in work on monday, and i got a text of one of my mates asking if i was heading out (helllooo, bank holiday sunday, recovery monday ;) ) and i couldnt go - and then;

'fuck it'

*** ping, the binge lights on ***

and i had some of the demon cake, a krispy kreme donut, a boost, some crisps and houmous, cheese and crackers and wine. oh heck.

also worth noting, the binge switch is more likely to flick towards on if its already been on that week, so this week im struggling to stay motivated as i cant see me losing weight after a) the binge and b) im suffering severely from big bloated balloon belly, ahh god dammit, ill be honest, im struggling and i feel massive :( this makes me feel;

but im trying very hard to at least sts this week, eeep wish me luck.

to satisfy my sweet craving im working in pointable treats to my diet, such as m and s count on us chocolate mousses, and kit kats - 2.5 points of yummyness.

im also suffering from pretty immense irratableness - and im fast learning a) why idiots shouldnt use facebook and b) i have a lot of them on my facebook friends list, now - ill be honest here, i know i may offend people - especially on facebook, im agnostic with atheistic tendencies and im pretty much, well - opinionated and me. i accept i may offend people, and as long as they do that quietly im fine with that, they'll get over it. but my god, do not try and block me - fail - and then write a status saying you've blocked me because you didnt agree with my opinions, i swear to god - there must be a pretty severe lack of psychiatrists judging by the amount of people with severe issues i have on my facebook.

anyway, id appreciate any feedback on my whole binge switch theory?

                                                  peace out x

1 comment:

  1. Yep, can totally relate to this - especially the whole start again tomorrow mentality which for me usually turns into start again Monday and so on. Don't know what the answer is (tho hopefully someone else does) just wanted to let you know you're not alone - will keep fingers crossed for your sts. All that lugging stuff on the shop floor must have earned some serious bonus pointage!